It was always you
by IrisCarlyle
Summary: The doctor goes back to the god complex only to find his door still standing.


He drifted his machine lazily, his first solo adventure. It was more taking him wherever it wanted, and he would let it for once. The Doctor had no final destination, just… drifting.

So he watched her work, fly, dance, whatever she would do. He just watched with interest, because he loved it when she would work her magic. Without even caring where he wanted to go. He didn't want to go anywhere, no final destination. It was her decision.

The Doctor noticed the machine had stopped after a few minutes. He smiled, basically running at the door. "What do you have for me n-" the words were cut off. He recognized this place, this horrid place. This place that had tempted him, and he never wanted it back in his life.

"What did you do…?" he breathed to his machine before looking around. It was empty, just black grids everywhere. Except… for one thing… no… it couldn't be. They had all left, he saw it happen. He was there. No door was to remain.

And the Doctor had the feeling of something crawling down his spine just as he wondered who's door remained. And it hit him, it was his door. The TARDIS had brought him to this point in time, this place… just for his door.

His hands drifted from the machine as he approached the door. It was maybe three meters away and red. A dark, eerie red that seemed to watch him.

Would he flee from this tempting demon or go into the door and face it? When this place was a hotel the Doctor actually had the truth to ignore the door. He knew what was in the room. He saw it. But he didn't confront it because he didn't want to. But now… knowing this door would stay here until he left, he had to venture into it.

He sighed, a foot from the door. His mind was racing from when it was him and his old face, the other man he owned. And all these memories were filled with her, the girl that was in the room.

He opened it slowly, like he didn't want to see what lay behind the hotel room blanketed in shadows. Soon the silver knob was past his elbow, and he walked in somber.

The blonde haired girl came from the bathroom, her hair was damp. It was her face, his beloved. From the prominent white teeth to the big pink lips and colorful, wild eyes. "I changed my face… I hope you still notice me." He said in that heavy whisper that was totally the new Doctor. He was being silly, talking to a hologram.

"Where to next Doctor?" She asked, unfazed by what he said. Like she didn't even hear him. Of course she didn't, this hologram wasn't her.

"Well I still have yet to take you to Barcelona." He said with his dorky, big-nosed smile. The Doctor would play in with this game, just to see her face.

She started to dry her damp hair. "Oh really Doctor?"

This wasn't her. It wasn't even acting like her. Rose wouldn't respond like that, she'd probably hug him and force him to the TARDIS. Make a comment on the new face, say how she had another new personality she had to adapt to.

This started to make him mad, this hologram. It couldn't even behave like her, it wasn't her. So he pulled out his sonic screwdriver, even though it ached his heart. It ached that he had to say good-bye - for the final time, there would be no more seeing her face in the flesh. Even if he could go to the parallel world he didn't dare. It would cause too much pain, seeing her with his clone-self, the man with the past face.

"I'm so sorry Rose," he breathed as he pointed the screwdriver at her. His face was already growing hot and tears threatened at his eye sockets. For a moment a look of terror struck her face and she backed away, but then he blasted at her and she was gone. All of her was gone, all but her face.

It looked at him in a sad terror, the beautiful face he had always loved. The face wet its lips then said three final words, "I love you." And it faded in a snappy glitch.

It had been four years since he heard that good-bye but this time it was she who lost the signal, not him. He knew, for certain, that would be the final time he heard those three words.

The whole while as he made it to the bed his eyes stared at the spot where she had been, her face still etched into his mind. The Doctor quickly sat down upon the shadowed bed and cupped his face in his hands. "I love you, Rose Tyler." He breathed so lightly it was hardly audible. Even after two years of seeing her he still loved her, she was his faith and he never doubted it. They were supposed to travel, forever. But the daleks and the cybermen ended that and so he hated them more then he did before he met her.

River didn't know of her, he made sure of it. Maybe she met her on one of her journeys, but she did not know by his own accord. She was his deepest secret, his love. No one that he talked to anymore knew of her, the girl in the parallel world.

Tears flowed slightly down his hands, just a few tears. Enough of them to grieve. The Beast in the pit was right, and he made her believe that he wasn't. Silly Doctor, making such mistakes.

He sighed, lifting his head up. She was still his faith, just like how he had vowed to the Beast back so many years ago.

The Doctor got up from this bed and he smoothed it out, walking to the door. Again he sighed, just through the nostrils before he grabbed at the door knob and exited the room. Before closing it he looked back at the door and smiled a sad smile. "It was always you." And he closed the door before heading back to the TARDIS.

Closure, he was given closure. And he had his machine to thank.


End file.
